Sketchmaster2000

It's official. If there is a predatorial sketchball out there, he will find me. It doesn't matter where I'm at or what I'm wearing or how I'm acting...I simply cannot attract normal people, whether in clubs, in bars, in the library... and apparently, even at church:

"Hey there. Just wanted you to know that I got you on Myspace--I saw that you accepted me as a friend---HOWEVER:-) I had to delete you before my wife saw it:-) HOLY $#!@%!!!! She would have wigged out if she saw you on there. My wife is super-protective. She would have seen how sexy you look and that would be it---fight, fight, fight between her and I. Not sure if you understand or not--I don't expect you to, necessarily. We can chat about it sometime---privately:-). Until then, I think your pix are very sexy and well....I will keep my mouth shut:-) before I get in trouble. Don't reply to my work email with any of this conversation---K? Just this one.
Talk to you soon,
****"

Yep... that's my pastor. A man of God. I guess I need to keep church shopping... =(

I am not a ho!

When I was in high school, I had no style. Well, I actually did have style, but it was BAD style, and I was incredibly awkward-looking to boot. I would show you a picture, but I don't have any on my computer, so you'll just have to use your imagination. But trust me, it was bad. Picture if you will: waist-high, baggy jeans; full coverage turtlenecks; braces; huge glasses; mousy, plain, dirty blonde hair; ghostly pale skin... oh yeahh, I was the wholeee package. I was also the good Christian girl, who thought parties were bad, drinking the dumbest thing ever, and any dancing other than ballet completely impure. While people weren't blatantly mean, I was picked on a good bit, and I certainly wasn't included in any particular social group. But I was fine being a floater. At least, for a while.

WELLLL... things change. I made it to senior year and decided my old look wasn't winning me any points. Even the pastor's kids looked cooler than I did. So I highlighted my hair, got contacts, joined the hip-hop dance team, discovered Mystic Tan, and gradually started to vamp up my wardrobe. This process continued and increased in extremity over the course of my college years.

I'm sure I over-compensated, but I had (and am having) the best time EVER with my sexy girls' nights out! But oddly enough, I now get picked on for being "slutty" more than I ever did for being dorky. Well, maybe not moreso, but it's weirder because I am the direct opposite of slutty... I am SUCH a prude...and definitely a dork. And there is way more to me then what shows up on Friday nights. I'm a good girl. My friends know this about me. And really, their opinions are the only ones that matter. However, even friends have, at times, been misled by the party image I have adopted of late, drawing conclusions that are simply inaccurate.

I get a lot of slack for wearing outfits like this:


And for making a spectacle out of myself like this:


And for posing with my sexy friends like this:



And people ask me, "Why do you do that?"

And I would always think hard about this, and try to come up with all these psychoanalytical explanations, and get all defensive--"It's not that bad, I'm not actually DOING anything slutty", or "Oh I sorta like the attention, this is my way of expressing myself", or "I'm insecure and this is how I feel more accepted and noticed," or "I'm a dancer and a performer and that's why I do it!" or "Even when I was little I liked to sing and dance and play dress-up!" blah blah blah... But then I got to thinking... why do I owe you an explanation? Why are you giving me such a hard time? Who cares?! Bottom line: my [highly moral & wonderfully classy] friends and I dress up and dance like crazy for one simple reason: it's fun. We're not doing anything wrong and certainly not hurting anybody. This is just our way [one way] of having fun. So leave us alone!

And believe it or not... I still have my dork wardrobe and wear it on a regular basis! Yay CAT SWEATER!

Zodiacs are stupid

I really hate the fact that I am the Year of the Rat. How does that make any sense whatsoever?! Why can't I be Year of the Kitten? Or even Year of the Butterfly? =(

'Sup!

Since Wendi and Kat have blogs, and since I always do everything the cool kids are doing (drugs are awesome!!!!), I have a blog now too. This is where you can learn alllll about moi, a.k.a. the Pink Piglette.

I am the Pink Piglette for a number of reasons.

One, I am a glutton.

Two, pink is my favorite color. [Except not really. Secretly, it's red. I was peer pressured into preferring pink when I was 7 years old and at Sunday School. All the other little girls liked pink so I wasn't about to have my feminimity called into question in front of all the cute little Christian boys. True story.]

Three, I'm a piglETTE because I am a girl, and I didn't want to create any confusion. [Except not really. I'm PiglETTE because someone else already took PiglET. How bitchy!]

Four, I'm a piglette instead of a pig because, despite being a glutton, I am little. And -ette means "little" in French.

TOODLES!

p.s. I was totally kidding about the drugs. TRUE STORY!