Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Beautiful and the Damned

This morning, Fox News discussed a new study stating that girls who are pretty are more likely to be "bullied," or treated unfairly, by adults (teachers) as well as peers. On the other hand, attractive guys are supposedly less likely to be bullied by both peers and adults.

A not-so-subtle detail is that these were guys and girls who perceived themselves as attractive. I'm not sure how much that actually matters, but I'm going to assume they actually were attractive, and that they are confident rather than cocky. (For a little perspective: when I say "pretty" or "attractive" in this post, I mean well above average!)

Anyway, the whole thing got me thinking back to the story about those college girls who got kicked off a Florida flight for some altercation with another passenger, who was not kicked off the flight. They argued this disciplinary inequity was because they were "too pretty," and that the flight crew discriminated against them because of this fact.

While I thought that was amusingly unlikely (they looked like the obnoxious type), I do know there are plenty of cases where individuals will automatically respect pretty girls less, and thus treat them unfairly as a result. I see that as more likely with female teachers, peers, etc, than males. I can also see female teachers, peers, etc treating an attractive male better. So, it may all go back to the jealous-stereotyping approaches that many women (and some men) take towards attractive women.

Men look at them and think sex. Women look at them and think "bimbitch." (Bimbo + bitch, and yes, I made that up.)

I don't know... I'm not sure I will ever believe it is tougher being the pretty girl in school than being the chubby, frumpy girl in school... but does being too pretty have risks of its own? Ugly girls get taunted and rejected, and pretty girls may never be accepted for more than just that. Beautiful people are often misunderstood, I know that much: bitchy, dumb, conceited, shallow...


Maybe being average is the best way to go. Maybe then, people can't really hate you, hurt you, use you, or even accept you due to assumptions based solely on looks (whether good or bad.) You can't be hated or loved for all the wrong reasons. I read somewhere that pretty people have a higher risk of long term unhappiness, though they may be "happier" in the short run---basically, while their beauty lasts. Like fame and riches, is beauty falsely equated with happiness?

Thoughts???


4 comments:

Turtle Jackson said...

My sister (The Hamburglar) and I had a whole conversation about this topic last week.

The Hamburglar is one of the most beautiful, nicest person I know but girls who don't even know her are constantly hating on her.

I have come to the conclusion they do this because:
a) she makes them feel insecure about their own looks
b) they are jealous that her good looks attract attention
c) they can't possibly believe that someone can be beautiful inside and out
d) she is a public figure much like Miley Cyrus and people just have to nitpick because they can't be as successful/awesome as her


Pretty Girls have just as much to prove as the Ugly Betties. Stereotypes suck! The hamburglar is awesome.

Nicole said...

I agree with you. I actually was reading cosmo last night and it was a whole thing on suicide and one of the girls was a straight a cheerleader in school and was bullied and not accepted because she was "too pretty!"

So I'm going to go with you on the whole "let's just be average!" thing.

Nikki said...

"Pretty Girls have as much to prove as the Ugly Betties."

aww I love that line!

It's so true though. As threatening as a pretty girl is, a pretty AND smart AND kind girl like your sister is going to be hated on and brought down even more.

The only way the others can reduce that threat is to take away every possible attribute they can, and that is just as unfortunate and sad and hurtful as bringing down and overlooking the Ugly Betties.

btw, your public figure comment (and a few E! shows I watched recently) made me think of more stuff relating to prettiness and unhappiness... haha longest post ever!!)

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHY THIS ISN'T SO EXTREME FOR MEN?! Sheesh!

Kathlea said...

it's not as extrememe for men.. but i do think it's harder for a moderately unattractive male to be accepted as opposed to a moderately unattractive female.

...and THANKS GUYS for the kinds words. <3


what can i say- I'm just being miley..err..kathlea. ;)

i used to hate the negative attention, now i just think it's absolutely hillarious.

.. and i always need a good laugh to bet me going through the day!